Michael's a horrible liar, I should probably tell you.
Where to start:
Oh yes! All those "Don't stop fighting" comments, how well do you know Michael Johannes? Every time you say that, you prove that the answer is, 'not very well'. Michael isn't a fighter. He'll hide before he runs, and he'll run before he'll fight. You know all about that, don't you Lucas? If you back an animal into a corner, you have to be ready for it to try to bite you.
And of course, there's always the chance that you're actually going to be a threat (I'm looking at you Shaun) in which case I'm going to have to remind you, this isn't a time-share arrangement dearies. And getting hit in the gut is quite painful (again, Shaun).
Lis! Thank you again dear, for this lovely opportunity. And for introducing Michael to Spencer, in a round-about sort of way. He's so much fun to talk to. You know he didn't mean to harm you, (though good job of it) no dear, for whatever misguided reason the idiot was trying to save you the trouble.
Opal! You know too well he isn't fine.
Spencer! Ha. That's all.
Elaine! The drinking really suits you, keep it up dear :)
But I digress, Michael wants to end both of us, but doesn't have the spine to do it himself. Trust me, I'm in his head. Very elaborate plans, most of them would probably work (though driving the van into the Atlantic Ocean seems a tad melodramatic). I'm sure some of you wouldn't mind talking him out of it. The comments are yours~
And Tia, feel free to berate him as much as you like :)